tiring week

hi, how's your day today?hope is fine....
i have a rough week, well is really tiring...and above all...i am really broke...haha...donno where all my money go...just a clip of an eye...its gone...
starting with last friday...as usual, went to class...then come back...but have to pack...because will be leaving for batu pahat at night...then will be apart with her for a few days...leaving for tournament...i have to...that night i sent her home before leaving kl....but then i stopped by jusco...i bought a christmas' gift for her...i manage to find the money though....i bought a pair of watches...
a picture of the watches....

then i left KL...i reach BP about 12.30am...and the very next day....i need to go malacca...the fight in on sunday and monday...but Koh and me decided to go there early to find my housemate who live in malacca...go to enjoy first...haha...so we left for malacca at 2.15 pm the next day...reach there about 4 pm...the trip wasn't so comfortable...my friend is there to picked us up...then we went to jungle walk to eat...something like petaling street in KL...haha...the food there was nice...then we decided to catch a movie...but the time of showing is not suitable...so we went to play 2 games of bowling instead....it was very tiring...and all the time..i miss her...after that, we went to his place to rest, while waiting for Chua to join us for dinner....we had dinner in portugese village...the food was fantastic....but we felt quite embarrass...because all the expenses my friend paid it...it was quite a amount of money....he insisted that he paid for the meal...then he headed back to his place....then i met his younger brother...only 15 years old...and he is malaysia top 30 magician...he showed us a trick or two...it was really good...and impressive...because the next day we do not need to fight...so we stayed up late that night...it was fun...

the next day....again...the situation was intense....we are assigned to coach...i am in charge of arena C...only 3 of our members will be fighting in that arena...and i can say...they are some good fighters...2 of them are my student...


this is my student, Uzair...a very good fighter...he won silver medal for this tournament...i was a very tough fight....he won this first fight with a KO.





Firdaus...he won a bronze medal...
well, that day didn't go so well....but the experience is the thing one cant buy with money....so we only keep that to ourself...that day sure was tiring...then we went back to the house...and had a home cook dinner....that night we watch football match together...

Monday...fight day...i am prepare...this will be the toughest tournament for me...because all of our competitor...will be our malaysia's army forces...ATM, NAVVY...damn...there are tough...we are here today to fight the defense forces of our country...haha...funny...sound like we are actually having war with our own country...but hey, sportmanship ok?no offence...

so i fight the second bout...i fought a navvy, who is half a head taller than me...i fight till the end though...i lost 2 points....haha...i lost in my first fight....well, basically...almost all of our members lost in the first match...



then, we headed back to kl right after the tournament is over...because my friend had to attend a class...so we rush back...i wanted to go back fast too...because, i wanna see her...

so we reach kl...i met her...and i rest for the day...because...i couldn't walk properly...

skip to christmas eve....i supprise her with the present...she was so happy...haha...well...on that night, we went celebrate at SG.Wang...things don't quite actually go the way i expected...we went to pavillion sport bar...drink beer and Chivass...she drank too much...haih...rough night...but still...we are happy...

today, she went back to Muar...she is not feeling so well though...i was worried...but she reached there safe and sound..and it will be 5 days until we can see her again...well, i will be in KL the whole time...so basically i am alone on christmas day...haha...use to it...
i found out that, we cant be apart for very long...even for a day....i mean, she never left my mind...every second...she told me the same thing...wonder how it will be when there is a sem break....haha...looking forward to see how we handle this....she can make me think only her...but no one else...no one that i ever met can make me felt like this...hope things work out...oh ya...i love the gift you gave me bbe....

fuck up situation...

first i felt sorry....i mean, for some reason i took her away from him...
i respect him as he said he respect her choice...i said to myself...if i could be half of the way he handle this...
then, he start sent those sms's to her and annoyed me...i mean i thought he respect her choice...which he didnt do what he said...which totally piss me off...motherfucker...i thought he was a respectable man...but turn out he make me look down completely on him...this is shit...because of him, several people's life are effected...which made several people's life cannot live in peace...

now, he wanna meet her...
and then i have to wait here...
what should i do is a unknown answer....
just hope everything will be back normal...
the normal will be i back in love...

i found you.....

hey, bbe...i donno whether u will read this or not...

hey guys, i found her...i find love again...it was hard to do so...when people leave my life one by one...you know..."people always leave"...
we gone through a lot to be together...it was not easy thing for her...neither to me...but we made it at last...even though "people always leave"[Payton Sawyer from One tree hill]...but "people always have a choice"[Lucas Scott form One tree hill]...we made our choice...and here we are...in love....just hope everything turn out fine for us...

this few days...we spent most of the time together...this made me felt different with my life...at least now i am not alone to face everything fucked up thing in my life...she is here with me...and i am there for her too...we face the same life...just hope...i can enter her world as she could enter mine with ease...i found out that we have quite a lot in common...some times...we say the same things together....haha...i felt love again...and i felt that i am important to some one again...someone cares for me again...listen to what i have to say...take care of me...i am just the most lucky guy right now...

PC FAIR...
i have to say...is completely a disappointment towards Maxis Broadband management!!! where is their brain??? one island...one booth...and they can mess up by hiring too many part time....150 part time promoters...on the first day...who dare to go there?? how to fight sales when there is so many part timers? they didn't see this coming...and we suffer the most because is too hard to do sales around the booth...we have to go around and try to find customers...and avoid PIKOM's coordinators...haih..i just wanna do sales only...sorry guys...i noe finding u all to come work and this kind of situation happened is really wasting your time...i am sorry...next time i will make sure everything is safe only ask u all...if there is a next time la...if not...i will do myself de....is ok...this pc fair...i really not in the mood to do anything...haih...luckilly got bbe...acc me...if not...i die liao lo...

ASSIGNMENT
IMK assignment...totally rejected by Mr Goh...and need to resubmit on thursday...is very stressful because it was all last minutes work,...and messed everything up...i took the blame though....because i didnt guide them well...i noe how to do...but i didnt check their work...haih...depress...Marketing Reseach assignment also haven touch...DAMN...how to handle??anyone please???

TOURNAMENT
Mellaca...22nd DEC...i donno am i prepared for this...but i really wanna win....is not easy...but only tough challenges make us grow...i will give my best shot...i promise...bbe...very "ke xi" that you cannot come to my tournament...really hope u can...but i noe...u you always support me de right?? and don worry...remember what i promise you last night k?

Closing...
you see...how you live your life does not depends on fate completely....fate brings you the choices...and you choose...we always have a choice...how we choose and what we choose will decide the outcome of everything....so my friend...choose wisely...take care and good luck...

speed

well, today i was walking back home from the bus stop...i saw a young malay girl is running very fast across the street...meanwhile, something fell down from her...because she was running very fast, she hardly noticed that...i tried to let her know...but she wasn't paying any attention as she is running very fast.

this matter set my mind to think once again, we witness how Usian Bolt won the olympics and break the world record and now known as the fastest man on earth...well, as i know...being fast is not always the best thing...we can be too obsess with our final destination, but on the way, we misses a lots of things, a lot of people...because of that, people got hurt from that...and by the time we stop for a gasp of air...and we looked back...we will mostly regret for moving forward too fast and misses the people who love us...same time, we also know that, we love them too and is too late to go back...

we have to face the truth...that we are not going to live forever and we do not know what is going to happen to us tomorrow...how about we try to slow down abit, and see what is around us and what is worth fighting for...spend more time on family than on work...because, money can always earn it back,...but once u lost your family...it is not that easy as earning money....take care of yourself for them...which is very important...because..u may be their whole world...

always try to analyze something before u throw everything at it...analyze your surroundings...don't just keep thinking of moving forward...because the best is always just beside you...u just have to slow down...and turn around...

Promise...

honestly, i am a guy who take promises very seriously...what ever i promise...i will try my very best to keep that promise...if i fail to do so...i wont feel easy...guilt will eats me...and when someone promise me something...i expect the same thing back...is keeping a promise that hard?
here is some tips;
- never make a promise if u know u cant accomplish it or there is any uncertainties
- never take a promise made lightly
- think what will the promisee feel, when the promissor did not kept his/her words(put yourself in their shoes)

well, many gave me their words and didn't kept it...i mean look what happen in the past relationship...i never promise anything that i know i cant do...or uncertainty..like said "i will marry you in the future" which i know is too soon to speak off...well, we actually quarrel about this for a few times...but anyway, that's the past...today someone breaks her promise...well...basically is a promise made one month ago...and i "was" looking forward for that...but today...disappointment once again arrived at my door step...haih...what to do...

i leave town to come kl study for almost 2 years already...and today, someone tell me something to my face...saying that, i am use to the life here now, where no people take care of me...and control me somehow...and i am use to face everything alone...and this cause me to forget how to care and take care of someone like i used to be when i was in secondary school...i was very angry...because at that particular moment...that statement was unacceptable...

then, i think back...i face this fucked up life alone...everything i face it alone...ya maybe my mum knows about the problems i face or whatever...but still, i have to deal with it alone including my fucked up life...maybe, just maybe...i really stop caring for other people other than myself...i mean, think about it...i spent most of my time alone in kl...no one care what i do, what i think and what i feel...i barely talks about my problem...and ya...maybe is true i forget how...very unfortunate...but true...so don worry...i will fuck off myself...

22nd December...3 days before X'mas, Mellaca tournament....this time, i wanna win so badly...because i think, fighting is the only thing i am good at...i mean taekwondo sparring la...not outside fighting...hah...i sucks in studies...i sucks even worse in relationship...and people will hate me at the first time meeting me...haih...what a life...but a good friend told me not to say like that...because, i am good at everything....i said "name me one"...she couldn't answer....just said...i am clever....is that so...i would like to think it as, i am cunning....haha.... anyway...i will try my best...because i love sparring too much to just let it go...i must be around it no matter what...

one week....

go




one week after my tournament...everyday is just pain....and tiredness...hardly fall asleep at night makes me wonder why...some more, the stupid whether made me sick...i am sick, and i am i pain...this week is really suffering...but, day by day the pain slowly goes away...haha...

our class took some class picture...with all wear the same color...and our international marketing tutor, Mr Goh...well...it was nice....

assignment coming....will be very busy this two weeks....i am prepared for it....when is over...i need to really start my revision....exam getting near...but...our working team will go to penang on december for PC fair....i am looking forward for this event...it will be 4 days 3 nights there...will tell u guys all about it.....

tomorrow, will be my 4th months anniversary of breaking up....means i am single for 4 months....this is quite some time for me...well, can say i fully healed...but, yesterday when she sms me, i thought i can handle it...but in the end...i cant...i had to stop our chat...because even though i am healed...there left a scar...when touches the scar...i will still feel the pain....it doesn't make me comfortable....i mean, until now....i still don't understand why she keep telling me that she felt guilty for what she did...and still cries about it everytime she think of me...i mean, if some one know that doing some thing will cause them to felt guilty, will they still do it? i sincerely hope she is happy this the guy now...and get what she ever wanted...or what i couldn't give her...because, if she don't...she will say, she regret dumping me....and i don't want her to regret...it will fucking make it hard for me too....well, at least i am good for now...and i am thankful for that.....

yup...tournaments's over

on 15 and 16 of November, Speed Power Taekwondo Association organized a sparring tournament that took place in stadium Kluang sport complex...i took part of this tournament...

first day,
i don't have any match on first day, but i had to be there to coach the student that will be fighting on that day. so, 5 of us from Batu Pahat went to help out to coach..coaching require fighters that have great experience so that they can do everything they can to assist the player to win a match. well, as head coach, i requested that i will pick the coach for the tournament. Me, Chua, Koh, Hanafi and Musa. we were the main coach that day, the rest were assisting us and equipment and team manager. well, this tournament was a totally new experience for all of us, because speed power taekwondo association organized almost 10 tournament a year, in our ex-association, only once a year. so, our player's experience can't compare with others...so, we just enter to have some fun and experience. but in the end, we turn out ok... for primary school, all was under control...although some of our best player lost, but we managed to lead our players to 8 finals. on the first day, we got 1 gold and 7 silver which basically means we lost 7 out of 8 finals. well, it was fun anyway...our players enjoy the game...the only thing screw up in the tournament, is there was a lots of flies...as KLUANG is famous with FLIES!!!!! later that day, i drove them home and went home to rest, i was feeling really sleepy and really need some rest as the next day i will be fighting.

second day,
i woke up about 5 am, got ready and left house by 6 am. then drove to the avenue again. i found out that i only have to fight 2 rounds to win the gold, so i figured, how about i go for it...so i coach and fight that day...Chua and i didn't fight for almost 2 years, and this is our first tournament for so long. we did ok in the first round, we both faced indian. haha....but i won the first match with unexpected performance so is chua...well, we both then lost in the finals to very good fighters came from muhibah wenwu....so both of us got silver medal instead...it was ok for us because it shows that even though we stop for so long, but in some way, we still can make it to the finals. well honestly, i am a little bit disappointed with my match because, in my fighting career, i never lose a final...well, there is always a first time right...this tournament, make my life wonderful again....because doing what i love most...i will keep on fighting...i won't stop easily this time...because hope is in my heart once again....my dream come alive and all of a sudden...my life is meaningful again...well guys, i suffered some injuries during the tournament....but not to worry...i will do anything to recover and get back my fitness.....good luck....

you left me worry....

i woke up early today, as i have to present today about a case study involve gambling going on global...i prepared it till late night....but manage to finish it...so i am very tired...so i left you a message that i already left the house...in case you are worry...no matter how tired...i still remember to left you a message...for me a simple message will do...you never reply...i assume that you are having class...so i didn't mind too much....after my presentation...i message you again...then, you still didn't give me any respond...until i reach home at 1 pm...i am worry sick...i thought anything happen to you...i call you a few times you never answer...i am tired...i am worry...i cant rest...by the time you respond...you said you are sorry...you left you phone in your bag...haih....what else can i say...i am far away from you...i cant stop hearing from you....that's the only way to ease my mind...i am sorry...i scare i am too emotional to continue our conversation...so i lied to you..i told u that i am going to take a nap...but the truth is...i cant even rest my eyes...i tried to handle it myself...try my best to don argue with you....but feels like a stone in my heart by not tell you how i felt...so i told you....i hope you are not mad...but i am really trying very hard....sorry......

stress....

well, guys....i don't use windows live blog anymore....well, i got my reason...
past month has been crazy for me...work, study, training...wow....but i stop my full time work...now as a part timer...well, is a release for me but, for my supervisor...is disaster...because our sales helped him a lot...now lose four full timer...wow...must be hard for him....he came to us...said that he need our help...of cause we will do our best to help him...because he helped us a lot....management of the company i work for is really a mess...greed...plans that is stupid...never think of the sales department....our difficulties...company at first promise to help us....but they are doing it in reverse....haih...what to do....

now is my 5th week of second year second semester...yet...i don't feel the mood to do anything yet....haih...will continue trying lo....my mum can go shanghai relax...so nice....

Yup, tournament..is next week....well, just hope i don get beat up too badly....hah...all the best....take care