People.....

since the day i started this job....i've been meeting different kind of people....dont refer only to customers....but to people that work around me....starting with 4 person including me in my team....we are strong sales team....everyone got the potential....starting with the old man....that's wat we call him...he is able to perform very good in sales....no doubt about that....he is very experience....but he is very easy to get jealous...he thought he can become a manager....he will play dirty to make sure he gets wat he want....he talk bad about someone behind their backs...he lost all my respect towards him....

then the Daddy's boy...who always listen to his dad....quite a nice guy....funny....but he has no balls to stand up for himself...or perhaps he dont want to....i don understand actually....his father ask him to take another job....resign from here....he did so...so we lost him....

then there is MR cool....he act very cool in everything he do....he got alots of cables....sametime got lots of secret....he get unsatisfy easilly...but never voice out to the person incharge...he is also quite nice to be friend...but one thing with him is, he trust people too easilly....that's get him into alot of trouble....he is resigning too....kinda make me disappointed with the thing he did b4 he left....

then there is me....the donno how to say no guy...i do everything my boss ask me to....i did everything with my heart and soul....people still will talk shit about me...i shut up only...knowing that maybe this will make me grow...just hope so....

haih....

recently, very stressful...because of work, because of boss, because of her....we work together at first as consultant....she abit slow to adapt this, i can handle it fast...in fact, i manage to achieve the company's top sales for my first month there, but she a bit lag off...she don like my boss, but every time she did something wrong, my boss will stress me....is like my boss hired her bcoz of me....i don wan her to be humiliate like that, so i have to change her, train her myself....but when facing me time, she cant be serious, because she don like my boss, she also not sincerely wanna learn, all is because giving me face only do...do what they don wanna do....but how does that makes me feel??? i tried to work it out...but u all keep fucking me up....1 keep showing me faces, the other 1 keep complaining almost everything they did...at office see boss face, reach home hear her says...i cant stand this la...

boss, is memang materialistic, you give the result...they happy, don care la how u do it....this is boss, every boss in the world is the same....

her, because she don like them, everything they did, she will complaint...she will unhappy...what she did was, on the spot she will call her friend to complaint about it...then show me face and that bad ass atitude...wat the fuck i did wrong i also donno....wat does that makes me feel??? anyone think about that?? no one, cos everyone just noe how will they feel, no one thinks about what you will feel, even they tell u "i love you" everyday....and pay you to work, they are suppose to don care how u feel....if know this cannot work out rite...just terus tell me, i can accept it...don because of give me face do things you all don want to do...bcoz make me feel like crap....

recently alot of road shows have to attend....all around malaysia...yes, we will keep being apart...just bcoz i didnt show i was sad about it...doesn't mean i am happy about it...even if i am sad, life is too short to complain about something you need to do...in this world,to be easy, u need to go through hardship...not everything you do will be easy, especially earning money...

in your blog, u said u wont bising when u go admin, if you still bising, u ask me to leave you...i told u, i noe you too well, if the thing is hard for you, u sure will bising....this is you...in study, work, in ur life...u cant handle hard things well, for you to noe, i am not complaining, i am just telling you...when u face hard things, u don like to find a way to make it easier for you....you just going through it in a strait line only, donno how to pusing abit...ppl say this then u just do this only....donno la, maybe is ur fate la just enjoying life....but not mine la...i have to work, even the work how fucked up...i have to work la...u might have chance to find others jobs....u have diploma...for me, now i have to do....just hope u understand....but if you cant understand, i also cannot do anything ady... thanks for making me so sad today....good night....

工作。

已经开始做工一个月了...有什么要跟大家分享呢? 我的工作每天都要跟人分享东西....以前觉得, 在college的presentation很简单...可是, 当你要present给顾客看, 让他们能够从你的presentation中,了解全部你要表达的东西...更要从一个好的presentation, produce到一个结果....结果就是product sold...不简单, 如果只是买普通产品, 以我的present的技术, 应该没有问题, 可是我今天是买business concept...今天我的职位是business consultant....我的任务是要, 在短短, 45分钟到1小时, 要客人拿出一笔很大数目的钱, 投资我们的燕窝生意...天啊...才一个礼拜, 我已经接了4个tour(顾客)...没有sales...讲到我都快死了...结果签不到...跟以前做maxis sales完全不同...这个一定要让顾客完完全全的相信你....如果跟顾客沟通的不够, 很难要他投资吧...

bbe, 做这份工不简单, 但是我没有逼你...如果真的受不了, 就不要做吧...开始要你做, 是希望你能够从这里学很多东西...比如说, 自信, 沟通方式...等等...这些是我要你学的...看你那么不喜欢, 我也心痛啊...可是,如果你能在这里生存下去....相信你去哪...都一样可以...我会支持你的!!!加油!!!

我的外婆

在这里，想跟大家说，我外婆在星期二晚上过世了...这四年来...我外婆的身体状况都不是很好...进进出出医院...一下hospital batu pahat...一下hospital tun aminah johor...一切都是从糖尿病开始的...然后她不爱运动...造成了她的脚一天比一天差...慢慢就行动不方便了...然后, 糖尿病接着就是肾病...这四年来,她的肾慢慢不能运作...得靠洗肾...就这样托了四年....这四年里...最辛苦照顾她的人是我妈...我妈为了她..自己倒下在医院几天...都没有人懂得apprieciate我妈做的一切..包括我外婆在内...她对我妈非常的不好...每次跟我妈其他的姐妹说她的坏话...然我妈非常难过...有时可以忍的都忍了...我小妹时常因为外婆对我妈不好而摆脸色给她看...可是她过世当天哭最惨的是我小妹(我们四个当中)...

这四年来, 我外婆有几次差点就走了...可是每次都撑过去...因为她很顽固...所以她有她放不下的事....一直都不肯走...这样托...托着我妈, 我四姨...

在这里, 要跟你们分享的事...就是, 在我外婆过世的三天前, 我外公请了一位从非洲来的牧师来跟我外婆看一看她的病情....那牧师说.."在三天后, 你的病将完全没有掉, 你将会很轻松"...那牧师要我外婆这三天, 全心的祷告...我外婆也这样做...结果, 她走的方式, 也算出乎预料之外....因为他那么多病...既然不是因为那些病而死...她因为咳嗽, 发烧...进了医院...在医院因为药物, 她整天都在睡...然后她叫我妈扶他去上厕所...我妈没有力...就打给我四姨...要她来扶...四姨扶了她..我妈就拿饭给她吃...她吃了四五口...喝了口水...然后把吃的都吐出来...躺下, 就这样走了...走的很容易...没有很痛苦...我们就推测, 因为祷告能开解我们的想法...和平静我们的心...她祷告后, 可能发现该放下的, 很早以前就应还放下....于是她放下了...基督教徒会说, 她忏悔了, 而神接受了她....让她回家了...我外婆有八个孩子, 二十四个孙子...今年她68岁了...

现在剩下我外公一个人, 也很可怜...不过我外公很坚强...应该会没事的.....外婆, 您安息吧...

考完试了....

终于考完试了....这次考试非常刺激....以为我从来都没有在两天里面考完四科...都是resit的...最重要的是...还要全部及格...不然毕不到业...所以, 会特别压力...不过我有很多时间准备...所以我跟自己说...我一定要准备好好...然后把全部都考及格...我有准备好...可是, 考试的前一晚...我竟然睡不下...可以算没有睡到...眼睛是闭着的...可是头脑是醒的..那种感觉很痛苦...以前如果考早上, 一定心想下午可以睡...可是这一次, 下午还要考...天啊...那种感觉真的不好受....不过, 第一和第二张纸...应该没有什么问题啦...考完就马上回家...头很痛很痛...痛到快疯掉...有睡一下下...然后又起来准备隔天的两张....一张是Fundamental of accounting, business statistic...算数...真的不是我的强项...不过, 有一直练习...所以, 应该也不会有很大的问题啦...只是, 有些粗心的错误...我尽力了...一切交给上天来决定吧...

这一次, bbe一直陪在我身边...没有她...我也不知道能不能撑那么久...谢谢你bbe..

考完试后, 我和bbe, 去看电影....看x-men origins...其实没有想象中的那么好看....哈哈...不过还是不错啦...

最近, 发现到, 曾经是我最要好的朋友...竟然有"双面人"的性格....这性格, 是一个很容易就会得罪人...也就是他已经得罪人了...我们才知道这一切的...虽然还在努力查清楚到底发生什么事...因为, 他突然一声不响的...消失了...没有人找得到他....只有他家人, 和学院的朋友找的到他...在bp...已经没有人可以顺利的联络他....我们也有努力找...希望他把一切的事都交代清楚...因为, 他家人到处说我另一位朋友的坏话...我那朋友感到很无辜..被冤枉...所以...一定要把事情弄清楚...看在我们三个曾经试非常要好的朋友分上..我更不能不管这件事....

我觉得, 交朋友真的要很小心....他们会弄到今天这样....很大的因素, 就是参错朋友...又一阵子, 他们参的朋友, 都不是什么好人...(nothing personal)...我非常不喜欢他们那些人...因为背景和身份的关系...所以我又一阵子没有更我那两位朋友联络...到现在出问题了...才开始有对他们的事有一点了解...可是我一定要插得更详细...然后想办法解决...希望很快就可以给我找出真相...

考试时间表....

考试时间表终于都发出了...等了很久勒....可是, 时间表给我很大的压力...虽然, 我很迟才考试...可是...我竟然要在两天里面, 考四科...快疯了啦...考试在4/5 和 5/5...哇劳...有够累啊!!!

上课礼拜, 去做了pcfair的工...也是一样maxis的咯...做broadband...已经很久没有做了...功力真的腿了咯...哈哈...这次, 我跟表哥两个人...买了20个broadband...算不错的成绩了啦....是累倒...一天, 都不懂说了几多话!!! 最后一天, 做到烦啊...讲到半死...全部都说去走走先才回来..可是...唉...大家明白啦...哈哈...可是, 当天有位同事...既然买了12个broadband...真的是同人不同命啊....

不过,这次的pcfair, 认识了很多人....也有不错的收获...

真心话...maxis broadband...其实真的很慢...使用者也不要因为这样, 就觉得被骗...其实, maxis也是想让大家开开心心的上网...可是, signal...就是很难加强...因为, 政府都控制住了...celcom的signal一定强过maxis...相信, 大家都知道为什么吧...我买broadband的时候...总是觉得, 自己在骗人...感觉好不对...不过也习惯了...哈哈...

我们的国家...真的是一个很好的地方...我当然爱自己的土地...唯一让我不满意的是....我们的政府...racism..真的做到台出面了...我们马来西亚华人...很可怜...在自己国家...也被当成是第二等人名...弱国我们移民...到了那国家...也是第二等人名....你说可怜吧...唉...

好累得一天....

其实勒, 我很早就知道...驾车其实很累的...
今天跟朋友借了一天车...因为有位朋友上来...要报名tarc...就帮她咯..

一早...就去打油...然后赶到车站去载她...然后我,慧敏和我朋友(诗琪)去lowyat吃东西..过后直接到setapak的public bank还学费...很不幸的...进去才十分钟...出来,车就中了saman...哇劳...sad lan dou...

接着到学校去报道...在学校走来走去...带她看学校...时间过很快...带她回来我们家...然她看一下屋子...因为她将搬进来住...我们都在家休息一下...又载她回车站搭巴士回去...她上巴士后...我和慧敏就会setapak咯...在路上碰到ah kham...技巧一下...一起吃了晚餐...可是, 还不能回家...要帮借我车的朋友...看一下他的assignment...就去找他咯...弄好了...我才有的回家...可能是累了...脾气有点不好...因为弄到很迟才到家...唉...驾车真的很累啊...

曾经有一个很好的朋友对我说..."跟你笑的, 不一定是你的朋友...骂你的, 不一定是你的敌人..." 有时候, 身边的人, 笑里藏刀...你却不知道...当你转身...就被那个人在后面捅了几刀...这种事, 我相信很多人都遇过...也可能是很多人的嗜好...

开个题目给大家..."如果你发现到, 你身边的好友,有这样的人存在...而他又那样对你...把你的名誉都说臭了...你会怎样做呢?" 欢迎在握部落各留言与大家分享....哈哈..

快毕业了啊.....

记得刚拿到spm成绩的时候...就决定要来tarc读书...因为这样给父母的负担也不会很大...也没有想太多...就申请了...原本以为..只是去拿一张certificate而已...可是来到这里读的时候...才发现没有那么简单...在这里...我成长了很多...遇到了很多事...交了很多朋友...看了很多人...毕竟是大城市嘛...刚刚上来读的时候...因为玩太多...所以成绩有够差...结果搞到每个学期都要努力得半死...幸好现在成绩也被我拉上来了...最后学期....要更努力啊!!! 相信我自己做得到...

很快..就要更朋友面对离别...在这里...我最好的朋友...就是,wei bin, ah kham, yap yong...这里也叫得到你们这些兄弟...真的是我的福气...也是我的荣幸....我们就这样走过了diploma...虽然ah kham没有完成, 但是我相信你以后也是会成功的....我们都为自己的梦想努力奋斗下去吧...

我呢, 接下来的路要怎样走...也不是很清楚地看到未来...我只能说...我会读advance...不管有没有人陪我读...我都会读...已开始...希望惠敏可以陪我读...可是, 我不能那么自私...因为, 她已开始都没有读书的念头...这也是我刚刚才知道的...因为..她刚刚告诉我, 她上来tarc读书的原因....我想了一下...决定不会再劝她读书了...让她自己决定她自己要的是什么吧...不管怎样...我会陪着你的...剩下的...我自己可以的...加油...我爱你....

long time never post...

yup, long time didnt write my blog....

been busy lately...because the last semester just started...although only two subjects, but it is a full coursework subjects, lots of assignment needed to be done...sigh...

talk about this weekend, i came back to bp for my cousin wedding...nothing much change here...
i am suppose to go with my girlfriend and my mum...but unfortunately, my mum fall sick the night before the wedding and hospitalize...we sent her to the hospital around 1am...the doctor try to find out what is the cause of my mother dizziness and medical condition...the ran every possible test but everything seems to be normal...my estimation, my mum faces too many pressure and stress from everyday activities...

she has to take care of her sick mother...even worse...her sister who is my aunt, always ask my mum to fetch her here and there....i feel sad for my mum...1 week, need to fetch her mum and sister to hospital almost 5 times....haih...just hope my mum can get better...luckily i came back this week...so i can help out a little bit...

even though so, we still attended the wedding dinner...the wedding was great...but my dream wedding is 100 times better...haha...anyway, i wish them happy for the rest of their life...

sweet love

过年了...其实每年的过年都一样啦...最开心就是全家团圆...一起吃饭...当然少不了拿红包...哈哈...
虽然这样...不过今年的新年对我来说...是特别的...以为...初三...我去女朋友的家拜年...是以男朋友的身份...顺便见她父母...家人...哇...对我还是第一次去女朋友的家...之前的女朋友的家人...全部都不知道我的存在...有时很麻烦...哈哈...不过她家在麻坡...是有点远啦..去到的时候...很紧张...不过扮到很酷的样子...她介绍她家人给我认识...她妈没有说什么...不过正在准备午餐给我们吃...她婆婆看起来很凶的样子...可是也没有对我怎样...唯一问我家庭背景的....居然是她公公...当时她爸不在家...所以我没有看到他...怎样说呢...在她家认识了她的弟弟和妹妹...还有她表弟....我们还一起玩牌...他们人都很好...她第海鳗搞笑的...

一切都顺利呱...她妈海鳗关心我的...因为她知道时间不早了...我还要开车回去...特别交待我到了要打给慧敏说一声...免得大家担心...

被女友家人接受...我还没试过...不过感觉真的很好...至少也给了我小小的鼓励...希望...会有美好的结局....

我--->你--->我们 091208

你知道吗?
在你来到我的世界之前, 我的生活...真的是很寂寞的...除了去上课有人陪...剩下的...都是独来独往...去哪里...做什么..都是一个人...慢慢的...我的世界...就只有我的电脑...我的床...和我的房间...曾经,也觉得这样一个人的生活很不错...没人管...想干嘛就干嘛...自由自在过生活...慢慢的,变自私...自会为自己想...目中无人...几乎没有人进入得到我的世界...连wb都没有办法...
可是这样的生活...有谁可以忍耐??
然后,你开始跟我们的车回...不知道为什么...总是喜欢作弄你...连wb都问我...你哪里得罪我...哈哈...我说"她好欺负嘛..."...然后...慢慢每天都想听你笑...在msn聊也聊到很不错...然后从msn到sms...慢慢,无时无刻都在聊...我不知道我可以那么容易就相信一个人...把我写的"未完成的作品"给你看...然后,我会开始想念你...在班上我还有时会看一看你...你知道的,我都是坐在后面...迟到王...哈...
其实有人跟我说,你有男朋友的...有一次你自己在车上也有提到...我自己那时有很奇怪的感觉...表达不出...我告诉自己,我不可能会有这样的感觉的...
在sms聊天时...你开始告诉我你和他的事...一开始,我觉得很奇怪...为什么你会告诉我这些...其实还有一点开心的感觉...因为觉得,你相信我,所以跟我说...有时你们吵架...我也只能安慰你...有一次,他不让你出去...你很生气...我不知道怎样安慰你...不过很努力的试...可是你狠狠的把我推开...那时,我觉得我很失败...帮不到你,还被你推开...过后心情差到爆...一直都在等你的信息...不过你有跟我道歉...其实我并没有怪你...觉得自己没用...
不知道为什么...你开始叫我少爷...每天起床都会信息我...那时的我...一直以为,我们只是很谈得来的朋友...我不让自己去想多...毕竟,你有男朋友...可是,我慢慢也发觉到...我们越来越亲密...到了我控制不到自己的阶段...我试着让你明白...我们已经奏太近了...可是你说...你还想叫我少爷...还想每次睡醒就信息我...其它的都不要管...我吓到...感觉到...你对我...也有感觉...不过,我还是把你当朋友...
还记得,你是怎样欠我肉骨茶的吗?
我曾经想过,等你请我吃着炖肉骨茶后...我们是不是不会再那么亲密呢??因为,我觉得我只是路过的...可是,我却不希望那天的到来...到了那天,我决定约你去看电影...然后才去吃肉骨茶...在电影院...我牵了你的手...控制不到对你的感觉...然后,你不但没有拒绝,反而还牵回我的手...就这样...应为肉骨茶...我们开始了...我变成了...第三者...刚开始很难过...因为觉得自己不应该...隔天,原本打算不理你...躲你...可是,你不让我这样做...
他发现了我们的关系...他要你做决定...当时我心想...我应该退出...可是,我发现...一个人的生活...我已经忘记了...记得的...就只有你...我怎样放手?我问你...我可以自私吗? 可以自私到想完全拥有你吗?你说"嗯"...你还问我,你会后悔吗?我很肯定的会说...不会...就这样...你选择了我...

到了今天...我们还是几乎每天都粘在一起...分开一段时间,就会很想念...现在我的生活...有你...我会照顾你...你会陪着我...这样...我们在生活上...弥补了对方的缺点...

今天的我...不再寂寞...不再一个人...不再一个人面对...不再一个人醒...我不知道你会在我身边多久...可是我会珍惜你在我身边的每一分每一秒...i am gonna tell you i love you...in the best way that i can...i promise...

first blog of 2009

good bye 2008, welcome 2009....

last year, i've been through a lot, a lot of memories...happy, pain, sad....a lot more....but is all in the past now...yesterday is always a memory....the future is always a mystery...and now, is always a gift...that's y it is called the "present"...lets feed back some of 2008....

everything is fine at first...everything going really well...except my studies la...struggling...but manage to do it in the end...lost a good friend....rest in peace my friend...lost some one important...who i loved a lot...she left...i'm hurt...stayed single for almost 5months...then, i found her on the 9th of Dec...up and down all the way in 2008....oh ya...i start fighting again in 2008....

i stop lingering in the past...because she hold on to me...take me back to the present and going forward...to the future...for that, i thank you...because i really need someone to be there for me...i might not be the perfect one...i am not the perfect one...but i will do my best and i promise you that with all my heart...

i spend more time in KL now than in BP...i donno y..but i just don feel like going back much...i don have a lot of friend in KL...but who need a ton of friend??we just need 1 or 2 true and good friend...and i got them here....

now my life is not only "me" anymore...and i am glad...

well, CNY coming...but i am having exam and CNY comes in the middle of my exam period..sucks like hell...how to celebrate...haih....but don care la...CNY every year can celebrate de...haha...anyway..i wish everyone....wish come true in 2009...